5 Small-Group Activities for Processing Grief

Helping students process grief can be very hard… but rewarding at the same time. Students also process grief in different ways and at different times. Just because you’re having a small group for grief doesn’t mean all the students are going to go through their grief process at the same speed. Healing takes time and we are not the decider of someone’s journey. So, with that in mind, as we go through these five activities to process grief, remember students may participate willingly and some may barely participate. That’s okay. It’s their story to tell and their journey to be on. Keep facilitating a safe place for students to share and feel welcome. Interested to learn more about this head over to How to Help Grieving Students.

Collage Wall

I have seen several versions of this all over Pinterest and Instagram! Everyone has their own take on it, but the idea is to use a long piece of white paper or a big, blank whiteboard and have students decorate it with feelings about their grief journey. Some choose to do Good Days vs. Bad Days or Before and After, etc. There’s no right or wrong way to do this! The purpose of the activity is to let students freely express their feelings about their personal grieving experiences and be able to see that others are on a grieving journey too.

Heart Activity

This is another one that has been around a while. However, kids really do connect and understand the concept of this activity so well. Students can cut out the heart and bandages…or you can use real ones! They get really excited about that! While having group processing time, take turns sharing what hurt their heart and tear a small section of the heart off. If you are needing to move quickly or have young students, they can crumble the heart to form wrinkles. Then, once students had time to each process their hurt feelings, they can go around and share what things (if any) make them feel better. Explain there is nothing going to take it away completely, but the things we do to cope will make it easier to manage. Students will place bandages on the heart to put it back together. In the Grief Monsters small group, I have a template with some bandages to make this process easier.

Processing Changes

It can be challenging for students to think about the before and after, or what changes will look like. Students often wonder why things are not the same. I once had a student say “But, the hot chocolate just doesn’t taste the same anymore.” This prompted me to look at changes with the student and get a clearer picture of his before and after. There are several ways to do this, but I like to use drawings with my young kids. We drew what things looked like before and how things look now. Kids can decide where their focus needs to be. A simple statement like, “draw how things used to be and draw how things are now” will be enough to spark a good conversation. They will decide if that means family, objects, support, routines, etc. What they need to process will come up in the discussion. Doing this a few times, even if just through talk or play can be beneficial.

Memories

Over the years, I have seen several different ways that students recall memories of their loved ones. During school counseling groups, we are usually bound by time. We can’t produce an elaborate art activity in 20 minutes. However, there are smaller ideas that work just as well. Buy pre-made wooden boxes from Amazon or get mason jars and some small plastic tea lights. Students can decorate and recall memories of their loved ones. Once they take them home, they could fill them with pictures, words, or drawings. Another easy way to share during group is to draw a memory of your loved one. To me, processing the memories and giving a safe space to share is the most important part. It doesn’t matter how your memory box turned out… it’s why you made it that makes all the difference.

Survival Bags / Coping Kits

These kits are amazing ideas to keep students thinking about the skills they learned in the counseling group. Each item represents a certain skill, students can recall what they learned. Sometimes, these become a small keepsake while the student continues to process grief outside of the small group. Usually, these kits come in Ziplock bags with the legend for what everything stands for. Students can pick out each item and place it in their bag to take home. The one pictured below is from my Grief Monsters Small Group.

Anytime we can give students the tools they need to overcome something hard, we have been successful. It may not look like it when you’re transitioning those students out of small-group services, but those students now have what they need to continue the process. Grief is just that… a process.